Why I have boobs.... Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day!!

I was sitting in church this morning getting snuggles from my kids. 

Kyler was leaning on my one side and Quinton on the other.  I looked down with love in my heart and realized what made me different than my husband.... My boobs.

My boobs have really done a lot for me. 

I have use them to nurse my babies.  For years (18 months for one and 15 months for the other) I nursed my little boys.  I fed them every day, multiple times a day for years.  It was an amazing time of being their mom.

I use them to snuggle my boys.  When Kyler was little he would only be able to snuggle with a bump.  He would roll up his legs and be in this little huddle... But he needed a bump... And in came boobs!  He would snuggle right overtop.  For anyone really, but it was so nice.

Even now, Quinton snuggles up to me and they are the perfect height to be pillows.  I guess it's a good thing I have them!

Kyler is now the perfect height to use them to hide in!  When K gets out of school and comes to give me a hug they are the right height to cry or hide your face in.  It has happened more than once, and I'm OK with that.

Buying shirts can be a pain in the ass as you don't want the buttons to pull, or fabric to look horrible...

But really, they are a huge part of what makes me a mom.

Happy Mother's Day!

Diary of a Wimpy Mom

I am a wimpy mom.  

I am not one that deals with vomit well.  

I can't handle when my kids are sick.  I hate seeing them in pain.

I hate it when my kids fall down and there is blood.  I can do it to a certain amount but after that,  it's Daddy terain.  Not for me.

I still remember being about 11 or so and my mom was watching a little girl.  I was laying on the floor and she was sitting on my tummy.  She leaned over me and threw up all over my neck and chest.  I remember thinking I would never ever be able to have children.  My mom laughed and told me it's different for your own kids.

She was right.  It is different, but I"m still not at "super mom" level.

Do I like it?  NO!  

Do I deal with it?  Heck yes!  They are my babies and I am here for them the moment they need me.

Now... Me on the other hand... This is why I got married.

I decided this year I would take care of myself.  This meant getting up to date on doctors appointments.  Taking them my concerns and making sure I was getting things done right.

Well... What a backfire!

I have no been to the dentist a few times.  In March my mouth hurt.  Just for one day, the teeth on my right side hurt then it went away.  At the end of March I went back in and had them look again and my dentist goes "WOW!  You cracked your tooth!".  

This then resulted in freezing and seeing how far down the crack went... I hate needles.  TOTALLY hate needles.  So this scared me.  Thankfully my hubby was with me because the boys were going for their physicals after and we're both nervous about getting needles so Daddy was with them for that.  

I ended up holding hubbys hand well they tried to crack the tooth down and see what was going on.  Thankfully I just need a filling put in and maybe a cap... That is next weeks problem... And hubby is coming again for that one.

I went to my family doctor to get caught up on my visits and we decided to remove some skin tags and moles and see what was going on.  Today was my visit, and guess who came with me? 

That's right, my husband.  He worked on his phone while I squeezed his leg and talked about what was scaring me about this whole thing.  He was there the whole time.  

As you can tell, I'm a wimp.  A huge wimp!!  I feel back but hey, sometimes you just need a hand to hold during it all.  I am so glad that God gave me Arnold to do that for me.  

But if anyone asks, I am a wimp and proud of it!

From my journal

Today is the day.  

Today is the day that 3 years ago we buried our son. 

Today is the day that is almost as hard for me as the day he died.

Today.

Today I'm going to share from my journal.  I got this journal in the hospital.  And while I haven't written in it a lot this is from one of my first journal entries.

Dec 1st 2012

"...It meant it was all over.  ARnold was by my side the entire time.  His eyes never left mine.  We cried, hugged, talked and exchanged 'I love you''s.  Eventually we decided we needed some time time before seeing our son.  We also needed a name!  We slept for about an hour then began our crazy day.

Arnold texted my mom and dad who were home with our boys and told them.  They began getting ready to come over. 

Arnold and I took our time meeting our boy.  Arnold saw him first.  He held him for a few minutes.  He was so small.  No bigger than one of Arnold's hands.  Arnold put him back down and came to me and we cried and cried and held each other.  Arnold prepared me for what my sweet boy looked like and when we were ready I had the nurse bring him to me.

Arnold held me and I held our baby. 

Our sweet little boy was so small.

They had him wrapped so only his face was showing.  His Boyd and head were so small that the hat he was wearing was way too big for him.  He had the sweetest "old man" face.  His Boyd hair was so with it looked like a must ash and big eyebrows.  He had the "Leverton turn up nose" that my sister has.  His eyes weren't open and with that he sort of looked like he was pouting or angry or upset.  Heck, I would be too!  

What a baby he was.  We were so full of hope, promise and plans for our baby.  All of those were taken from us in just under a week.  It's so hard to believe sometimes.

When I was holding my son I just wanted the world to stop.  I wanted all the time with him.  To know every detail of my boy but I couldn't.  

I kept telling myself that he wasn't there.  My baby was in heaven with God.  He was happy, healthy and in the best possible place he could be.  It may not feel like it now but he was.   Our little boy was in heaven, in Jesus's arms and meeting all of his family up there..."

And then it snows!

We have rules.  We have rules that the boys come home and empty their bags, get their lunch dishes in the dishwasher, put their school homework on the table and then we start homework.

But then it snows.

The boys LOVE snow!  And I'm very glad they do.

Today the went outside for a half hour to play before dark.  Before doing any of their jobs after school.  Before anything was play.

I'm not calling them in until it really gets dark.

Sometimes snow is more important than school.

Work for Hire

Work For Hire!!

We are now on week 3 of our "Work for Hire" board on our fridge.  It's great!  The boys have been focused on their new bank cards.  And with that, their way to make money.  We have them on an allowance at our house.  It is a dollar for every grade you are in ($5.00 for K and $3.00 for Q).  10% must go to Tithing or Donations.  40% is for spending on whatever they want and 50% is for saving (directly into their bank accounts).  We used to have everything in ziplock bags but now we have it all in the bank.  And I won't lie... Being able to transfer everything to their account is awesome!!  It takes us about 10 minutes every Saturday.  We write down in their accounts book what is going in and why and then we write the totals.   Now the boys can write about their work they do around the house. 

Kyler and Quinton are both saving for something.  What it is?  Who knows!  It changes daily!

Right now they are both working to get as much money as they can.  Each of our "Work for Hire" jobs are worth $2.00 unless it is stated otherwise.  So for things like cleaning the car.  That job is $2.00 except if you vacuum, to Mommy standards, you get a bonus $5.00.

You should have seen their faces when I told them that!  Kyler was so excited for bonus money.  I read them every "job" and told them what they had to do.  We talked about bonus money.  So for example the car thing.  They were excited to hear about the bonus $5.00 for vacuuming.  Then I said, in the summer you can get a bonus of $10.00 for waxing the car.  

K and Q " WOW!!!  $10.00!!!"  A few minutes later... "What's waxing the car?" 

I guess we have to teach them that first!

But for now the inside jobs work great!  I've had my doorknobs and light switches disinfected.  I've had my cupboards wiped down on the fronts and the handles wipe down.  I've had my fridge cleaned inside and out.

This week I'm looking forward to having things cleaned up again.  The boys are doing so well with being responsible with cleaning and getting work done.  It really has been good for them.. And us!

Laundry Room Declutter

This past weekend I was lucky enough to have a house to myself for a while.  Arnold took the boys out on Friday night to a Jr High thing.  They had a blast shooting nerf guns and hiding behind cardboard!

Me... I dove into the basement. 

It's horrible.  I need to declutter if we ever want to do anything down here.  And to be honest, I kinda hope that will happen sooner than it really will!

I attacked the laundry room.  I keep telling myself I'm totally going to do this but I really did!  It was great.  I filled up 2 bags of garbage, one huge container of recycling and 1 and a half LARGE bags for donations.  I couldn't believe how many sheets we had.  I mean really, how many sheets does one family need.  We had 6 sets for our bed.  One set was from our wedding... Over 12 years ago!  Wow right?  Someone could use those for rags now!

Anyway... I should have done this before as our school had their annual clothing drive but I just couldn't find the time.  Instead I had the motivation of the Canadian Diabilties Assoiation coming the next morning and that was more than enough!  They do a free pickup at your door.  You just have to place stuff outside (or I put it in my front porch if raining) and they come and pick it up and bring it to the drop off.  I love it!  I do, however, miss the discounts you can get for dropping it off at Value Village.  So sometimes we do that there too.  I was just glad to have a motivation for getting this done.  Below are the pictures of my success!  I was wonderful to get up in the morning and know I wasn't going to trip on anything, or I wasn't going to have any problems getting to the bathroom in the dark.  It's so pretty!

My Linen Closet

Storage Corner

Washer Area

Bottom of the stairs

AFTER:

Linen Closet

Storage Corner, completed now with everything you need for laundry.  And everything on those chairs is for recycling!

Washer Area

Bottom of my stairs.. Those are the donation bags (clear) and the black garbage bag.

I'm really proud of how it looks now!!  One space down, a million to go!

Rainy Nights and Bright Lights

I went out for a walk tonight.  It's raining.  It is not that bad actually!  I thought it would be pretty gross but let's face it, sometimes you just need to walk in the rain.

I didn't need steps.  I didn't need the time off of the boys.  I didn't need to "take a break".  I just needed to walk in the rain.

I got to enjoy the beautiful weather.  The +4C weather, with a sprinkle of rain.  I got to enjoy the dark of the night.  I got to enjoy the bright lights.  I got to enjoy having some time out of my house and enjoying some time alone.

I got to see some awesome Christmas lights.  And I'm currently obsessed with taking pictures that make the lights look like circles... Mainly cause you can't see how beautiful they look without taking my big camera out and getting people to look at me funny!

#vscocam

Today was one of those days.  Ever had one?  I have.  ALOT!  Hey now!  You can't tell me that you have never had one of those days.  I'm positive you have.  And if you haven't then.... I'm either bowing before you or... I'm ducking to not get hit when your nose grows!

My battery in my phone seems to die faster and faster so I brought it upstairs and then put it right on the charger.... Which meant.... I left it at home again today.

I got to school and realized I was about to photo copy something for the kids to bring home that said "I'm easy to wrap, just take a crap"...... Yeah.... Back to the computer to fix that one!

I skipped down the stairs and felt my back "pop" on the landing.  One of those funny steps where you can just feel something wrong.  And it's continued to bother me all day now.

I found out a dear friend of mine had a miscarriage and never said anything.  (Oh trust me, she got lots and lots of hugs!)

I worked out in hopes that my back would feel better and my muscles would stop hurting... And it didn't work!

I spent $12.00 on 3 bags of chips cause I was too tried to stop at the grocery store and went to the corner store instead.

I got home to no Diet Coke.

I had to remember grade 5 math!  Ugg....

I had a son come to me so scared because the bbq hood was stuck down and when they started the bbq the lid jumped up *he is fine and his dad was with him*

I have 2 never filling boys... Seriously they are eating more chips now after we finished 12 burgers in our family of 5.

My TV wouldn't work today.  For some reason it kept blanking out nod we had some serious net problems!

My popcorn popper broke.  WORST DAY EVER :)

PLEASE don't get me wrong.  My day had some amazing points!  Kyler informed me his marks had him in the top 5% of his class.  My co-worker got me some amazing lunch, my all time favourite!  Another co-worker shared her amazing coffee with me.  I got home to a dog that wasn't upset for being caged for the morning.  I got to play some online games.  

I got to go for a walk.

Sometimes all you need is rainy nights and seeing bright lights.