Life is hard sometimes. It's wonderful sometimes. And still others... I go crazy!
For now an "information" post is best. November was a hard month.
I had an ultrasound on Nov 14th and on the 15th I got a call saying the baby was small and had a lack of fluid. I made an appointment with an OB for Nov 21st and waited.
We saw her and went over my history. We did a quick talk about the past ultrasound and tried to find babys heartbeat. We couldn't. I was sent for an ultrasound, blood work, and back to the office. My blood pressure was high, very high.
We were sent to L&D at the hospital. They couldn't get my 202/120 BP down. We ended up in ICU doing drugs to get my BP under control. After spending Wednesday to Monday there I met with the baby specialist about how small our little one was. He suggested we transfer to Mount Siani(sp) hospital. We did Monday afternoon.
We were admitted and drugged some more! My BP dropped lower than I've ever seen and I was sick. We ended up waiting overnight to get into the ultrasound to see the baby. God granted us with not having to make the choice about our baby. My severe pre-ecclampia was so bad that we knew the only way to get better was to deliver our baby early. But at the ultrasound we found out our little one had already passed away a few days before.
I was induced and delivered our sweet baby Otis Gus Gilbert Visser on Wednesday, Nov 28th around 4am.
We spent the next few days in the hospital working on my Blood pressure. I was released on Friday and I'm home now.
I'm still on meds for my bp and I'm working to keep it under control. I take one med at 6am and 6pm and then another med at 10am and 10pm. It's hard to keep on track but I need to do this.
Now I'm grieving. My baby boy. My sweet baby boy is gone and I can't do anything about it. Some days are good, some days are bad and some are both. Some nights I can sleep, some nights I can't and some nights I don't know what to do.
The boys are getting by. Every once and a while we get questions from my boys about it. Tonight Quinton prayed for baby and asked God to keep him safe and I started crying. Every day is different.
So for now, bare with me while I work through this. I'm having a hard time sometimes. Others... I'm ready to take on the world, for a few hours.
I'll be back, I promise.
Showing posts with label pregnant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnant. Show all posts
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
Big Goals at 30!
Yes, that's right, I am 30! Can you believe it? Me either! I'm too young, have to much to do still and most of all don't "look it" (did I mention modest?)
Every year that I can remember from about 20 on or so I would make a plan... XX (how old I was) things to do before I turn XX(next birthday). I remember trying to get most of them done, if not all. Some years, having a baby was put on and it was never crossed off but hey, it's worth a shot right? And some years, having a date night once a month, was totally doable!
This year I'm at a loss. I can't think of 30 things to do in a year. I just can't even imagine 30 things I would want to do every month or at least complete before I turn 31.
So this year I'm making it simple :)
I want to write on the blog 3 times a month.
I want to post pictures on the blog 3 times a month.
I want to have 3 meals a week I can make and not worry about.
See.. simple!
I'm finding my life is just getting more and more crazy, things are getting harder to do and I'm just so tired. I realize alot of that has to come with this little baby that's going to be arriving in 2013, but still.
So there you have it.. my BIG goals for being 30 :)
Every year that I can remember from about 20 on or so I would make a plan... XX (how old I was) things to do before I turn XX(next birthday). I remember trying to get most of them done, if not all. Some years, having a baby was put on and it was never crossed off but hey, it's worth a shot right? And some years, having a date night once a month, was totally doable!
This year I'm at a loss. I can't think of 30 things to do in a year. I just can't even imagine 30 things I would want to do every month or at least complete before I turn 31.
So this year I'm making it simple :)
I want to write on the blog 3 times a month.
I want to post pictures on the blog 3 times a month.
I want to have 3 meals a week I can make and not worry about.
See.. simple!
I'm finding my life is just getting more and more crazy, things are getting harder to do and I'm just so tired. I realize alot of that has to come with this little baby that's going to be arriving in 2013, but still.
So there you have it.. my BIG goals for being 30 :)
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Wait, what's that? Right... quiet!
Our lives are slowly getting into pace. And I'm so thankful to God for that.
The first week in September Kyler and Quinton announced our "family secret".
We are expecting.
And we are worried, scared, and frightened that after telling the boys, and our family, that something bad will happen. I think it's something you never get past after a miscarriage. I mean we SAW Baby Casey's "sac and egg". There was no denying that there was a baby growing in there and every day, every hour, every minute past the miscarriage date we praise God.
We thank him for our blessing growing inside me. We are excited, blessed, and so happy for this little one. Every morning and every night our little bean gets more kisses and hugs than I do! She/He is so loved by Kyler and Quinton (not to mention mom, dad, Nana, Papa, Grandma, Grandpa, and everyone else!).
We told family and friend at the beginning of the month about this blessing from God. We even got to show off a little photo of our bean! My ultrasound tech was AMAZING and let me have a picture of our little one early (9 weeks and 4 days) so I could show the boys where this little one was. And what does Quinton do with the photo? Runs back to his teacher and goes "Look what's in my mommy's belly!! And it's my Birthday Present!"
After that it was a free for all. I told the girls at youth group, my friends(family) online, Arnold told his work, we told the people who we talk with all the time and everyone is excited. We are surrounded in prayers for this little bean. And I know, more than anything, that we are blessed.
Kyler started school with Mrs. J. He loves her! He loves his class, his teacher, his friends, and the fact that things aren't *too* different from Mrs. B from last year (I will post pictures soon).
Quinton is an SK and he isn't learning much this week. He's informed all of us after school that this first bit of school is for the JK's and not the SK's. They aren't learning anything (haha). He loves that he has Mr. Brown again and that his friends are with him in school. I don't have the heart to tell him that one of his best friends will be leaving for 4 months + in a few weeks. I'm so worried about him and how he will react. But so far so good.
Arnold's doing alright at work. Still getting into the grove after being gone for vacation for a week and a bit he isn't happy all the time. But that's ok. September seems to do this to everyone. This weekend Arnold has headed up north with some friends from Church and is going to a men's conference at MBC. He is excited to be going and really enjoys the speaker.
Which brings me to me :) I'm doing ok. So far no morning sickness, however I do have some times where I'm *sure* I'm throwing up but nope :) Q and I had the flu last weekends so we are getting over that. I'm enjoying my days. I've got energy again (thank goodness) and I'm loving it. I've volunteered in Q's class about 4 times so far this year. It's alot of fun. On the days I don't have Ian or Dr's appointments/ultrasounds, I'm in Mr. B's class. I've also got an invite to help out the music teacher/librarian as well. It's nice. I'm enjoying helping out in the school. I've labeled all the workbooks, the bell work, anything that goes home, stuffed mailers, got the reading folders ready for the SK's, helped with snacks, the paint centre, backed bags and unpacked bags, as well as getting anything and everything I can to make Mr. Brown's job easier. Thankfully, it has been nice and easy and chilling out around the school. It's fun. Really.
Our typical day looks like this:
6am - up to pee, I swear sometimes it's earlier!
6:30am - Arnold's alarm goes off
6:45am - out of bed and upstairs
7am - News time! and breakfast
7:30am - on days that Ian comes, he shows up around this time
8:15am - Sophia comes over
8:35am - out the door and off to school
8:50am - everyone in school (volunteering if no Ian, if Ian, come home)
11:10am - head to school to get Q and Sophia
11:30am - home and time to clean up and have lunch
12:45pm - nap time for Ian (depending on pickup times)
1pm - TV/Movie off and kids outside or downstairs to play while Ian naps
2pm - back upstairs/inside and colour/read book time
3pm - off to school to get Kyler
3:30pm - home from school and Sophia picked up
4:30pm - time to make supper!
5:30pm - Ian picked up
6pm - eat! (earlier if we can)
7:30pm - bed time!
Mondays (in October) are Aqua fit
Tuesdays (first of the month) are the C&C/Young Adult dinners
Wednesdays are youth/mens bible study/school council meetings (oh yeah, Arnold got nominated for Treasurer:P)
Thursdays are swimming (in October) or Arnold's running around day
Friday we travel (if going somewhere) or we seem to have some plans that day. It keeps us very very busy!
Today the boys and I are home alone (as I said before Arnold is up north) so we have done some running around, cleaning, gardening, more cleaning, and had lots of fun...
Can you believe it... it's quiet! NO WAY! Yep... it's quiet in my house (hence the blog post). My boys are napping. Thank you Lord for little mercies like naps :)
My turn! Have a great weekend!
The first week in September Kyler and Quinton announced our "family secret".
We are expecting.
And we are worried, scared, and frightened that after telling the boys, and our family, that something bad will happen. I think it's something you never get past after a miscarriage. I mean we SAW Baby Casey's "sac and egg". There was no denying that there was a baby growing in there and every day, every hour, every minute past the miscarriage date we praise God.
We thank him for our blessing growing inside me. We are excited, blessed, and so happy for this little one. Every morning and every night our little bean gets more kisses and hugs than I do! She/He is so loved by Kyler and Quinton (not to mention mom, dad, Nana, Papa, Grandma, Grandpa, and everyone else!).
We told family and friend at the beginning of the month about this blessing from God. We even got to show off a little photo of our bean! My ultrasound tech was AMAZING and let me have a picture of our little one early (9 weeks and 4 days) so I could show the boys where this little one was. And what does Quinton do with the photo? Runs back to his teacher and goes "Look what's in my mommy's belly!! And it's my Birthday Present!"
After that it was a free for all. I told the girls at youth group, my friends(family) online, Arnold told his work, we told the people who we talk with all the time and everyone is excited. We are surrounded in prayers for this little bean. And I know, more than anything, that we are blessed.
Kyler started school with Mrs. J. He loves her! He loves his class, his teacher, his friends, and the fact that things aren't *too* different from Mrs. B from last year (I will post pictures soon).
Quinton is an SK and he isn't learning much this week. He's informed all of us after school that this first bit of school is for the JK's and not the SK's. They aren't learning anything (haha). He loves that he has Mr. Brown again and that his friends are with him in school. I don't have the heart to tell him that one of his best friends will be leaving for 4 months + in a few weeks. I'm so worried about him and how he will react. But so far so good.
Arnold's doing alright at work. Still getting into the grove after being gone for vacation for a week and a bit he isn't happy all the time. But that's ok. September seems to do this to everyone. This weekend Arnold has headed up north with some friends from Church and is going to a men's conference at MBC. He is excited to be going and really enjoys the speaker.
Which brings me to me :) I'm doing ok. So far no morning sickness, however I do have some times where I'm *sure* I'm throwing up but nope :) Q and I had the flu last weekends so we are getting over that. I'm enjoying my days. I've got energy again (thank goodness) and I'm loving it. I've volunteered in Q's class about 4 times so far this year. It's alot of fun. On the days I don't have Ian or Dr's appointments/ultrasounds, I'm in Mr. B's class. I've also got an invite to help out the music teacher/librarian as well. It's nice. I'm enjoying helping out in the school. I've labeled all the workbooks, the bell work, anything that goes home, stuffed mailers, got the reading folders ready for the SK's, helped with snacks, the paint centre, backed bags and unpacked bags, as well as getting anything and everything I can to make Mr. Brown's job easier. Thankfully, it has been nice and easy and chilling out around the school. It's fun. Really.
Our typical day looks like this:
6am - up to pee, I swear sometimes it's earlier!
6:30am - Arnold's alarm goes off
6:45am - out of bed and upstairs
7am - News time! and breakfast
7:30am - on days that Ian comes, he shows up around this time
8:15am - Sophia comes over
8:35am - out the door and off to school
8:50am - everyone in school (volunteering if no Ian, if Ian, come home)
11:10am - head to school to get Q and Sophia
11:30am - home and time to clean up and have lunch
12:45pm - nap time for Ian (depending on pickup times)
1pm - TV/Movie off and kids outside or downstairs to play while Ian naps
2pm - back upstairs/inside and colour/read book time
3pm - off to school to get Kyler
3:30pm - home from school and Sophia picked up
4:30pm - time to make supper!
5:30pm - Ian picked up
6pm - eat! (earlier if we can)
7:30pm - bed time!
Mondays (in October) are Aqua fit
Tuesdays (first of the month) are the C&C/Young Adult dinners
Wednesdays are youth/mens bible study/school council meetings (oh yeah, Arnold got nominated for Treasurer:P)
Thursdays are swimming (in October) or Arnold's running around day
Friday we travel (if going somewhere) or we seem to have some plans that day. It keeps us very very busy!
Today the boys and I are home alone (as I said before Arnold is up north) so we have done some running around, cleaning, gardening, more cleaning, and had lots of fun...
Can you believe it... it's quiet! NO WAY! Yep... it's quiet in my house (hence the blog post). My boys are napping. Thank you Lord for little mercies like naps :)
My turn! Have a great weekend!
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