The dreaded "M" word. It's that one word that no one wants to have anything to do with. Everyone wants LOTS of it and no one wants to know where it goes, and how it gets there.
I've talked about this before. I've talked about our version of the Dave Ramsey Program. How much we love doing this and seeing our credit cards go down and slowly our savings to go up!
This past year has really shown us what we need to have. When we lost our baby things started to pile up. Costs that we weren't ready for, and never should have to think about while expecting a baby, let alone your own children babies or not. And slowly our Emergency Fund started to sink lower and lower.
We are so blessed to have family who loves us and cares for us in every way we can and have helped to pay for different parts of the funeral until we could. It has been such a blessing.
Now we are back on our feet. Our debts have been paid off and paid back and slowly we are getting there. Slowly we are seeing the light.
Which brings me to why I'm posting about Money in my Marriage Mondays posts.
I've been thinking a lot about how some people have *no* idea where their money is going, where it has come from and what is going to happen to it. Some people just don't have a clue to what is happening in their own family.
When my dad was diagnosed with cancer my mom had a "field trip" to the basement to go through all the important papers they have. All their taxes, files, etc.. So much stuff to go through and learn. And that was about the point that Arnold and I chose to make sure we were BOTH in our on money. And it has become part of our marriage.
When we were first married we had little to no money. Isn't that always how it works? Eventually we gained some more, lost LOTS more and slowly got ourselves on our feet. We had bank accounts in 3 different banks. It was crazy. And just before we had gotten married I made the stupidest choice I have *ever* made. I got a department store credit card. I thought, hey why not? It will help our credit.
It took FOREVER to pay off. Like so much time. Even now I'm never comfortable going to stores that ask me if I want their credit card. Most of the time I follow it up with things like "no thank you I'm trying to pay off all of mine" or " are you crazy? I don't have that kind of extra cash laying around to pay the interest rate you want!". Generally people leave me alone after that.
Any who.. back to the point of writing this. I'm hoping to do something called "Marriage Mondays Money Posts" on the last Monday of the month. Just something about how our budgeting works for us. not for everyone else mind you. We each need to find something that works for us and go with it. I read a lot about money and what people say to earn more, keep more when doing taxes and how to save that "$6000.00" a year with simple changes. But it always leads me back to just being careful with my own money.
So first things first. Dave Ramsey teaches us to get right with your 4 walls. Make sure you can live within your means. It's different for everyone. We pay a lot in rent. When most people find out how much we pay they are always shocked and ask why we don't buy our own house right now! And generally speaking, we would/could but we don't have the credit or the down payment needed. And to be honest, I don't want one yet. I'm not ready to commit to a place. For example... From the time Arnold and I got married we moved 7 times. It gets to the point that when I do my spring cleaning the boys ask if we are moving again. They are just so used to it. While we love our neighbourhood and we wouldn't want to move I'm not ready to commit to staying here.
For us (again different for everyone) our 4 walls meant having enough money to pay for food (I'll get into that later), to pay for rent, and to pay for hydro/gas/water/electric. Everything above and beyond that is "extras" that get put into your budget later.
So we have to make sure we can afford all those. While it's not a lot to think about at first. When Arnolds pay cheque comes in (as we are a 1.25 income family right now) we have to think about where our money is going and what we are/can do about it.
I was talking to a friend who has started looking at her money as a family. She can't understand where the money goes and how 1 pay cheque has to get them through the whole month! I asked her what happen to the first pay? I was told it's their "Rent" money. Well... then I got it. For a LONG time we did the same thing. We paid our whole rent cheque out of our first pay of the month. It was almost impossible for US to get that to work. Slowly I realized if I saved part of the pay it wasn't so hard.
Now we work like this:
about $400 - $500.00 of our rent comes from pay #1. It gets set aside into an account and we add it all up later in the month.
The rest of our pay comes out of our second cheque so that we aren't scrounging to make it for a whole month on one pay.
Next time I'm going to talk about our grocery budget and how we make that work for US! This may not work for you but it's what works for our family. Hopefully, if nothing else, it gives you an idea of how we do it.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Marriage Mondays ~ Dress to Impress
I know this one is going to get me into ALOT of trouble but here it is anyway.
I try to do things for my husband to make him happy, excited, and want to be with me. Not that he doesn't *want* to be with me... see this is already getting me in trouble!
Last year after we lost Otis I said I needed to figure out who the heck I am! This includes losing weight, trying out new things, and part of it is not dressing "like a mom".
When Arnold and I met we were in university. We lived across the hall from each other. And while I didn't totally care what I was wearing (but mind you I only packed my "good" clothes) I was careful what I wore.
When I got sick I was ok handling people, including Arnold, see me in PJ pants and a t-shirt. In fact that how I spent most of my second year... in PJ pants and t-shirts. Not because I was sick but because I just didn't care anymore.
Slowly I began to realize I can't live in my pj's so I started to find something that worked for me. But being plus size and being in university, clothes weren't always the top thing for me to afford. Shirts were a lot of money, unless you got them at Walmart, and pants were always way more. I still remember buying my first "performance" shirt to do a duet with my friend Lyle. It was this blue shirt with sliver glitter lines in it. So wonderful. I *just* tossed it in the donation pile last month. It was about $60.00 and I was so worried about wearing it too much to ruin it.
Now I'm still figuring it out. I'm currently in jeans and a t-shirt writing this out. I've begun adding new things to my wardrobe that my husband likes, or encourages. Some things I'm not fond of. Others I'll "try" and still others I love more than anything. I've found in the past 5 months I have spent more on clothes than I ever have before. And I'm ok with that. I'm beginning to wear things that are less "mommy" and more "adult" ish.
Back to my dress to impress title. Dress the way your husband enjoys, if you can. I'm not saying if you are a plus size woman and your hubby like skin tight clothes you should wear that. I'm saying dress how you are comfortable, dress how you look good, and remember that your husband likes how you look. I was once told to dress and look good when your husband gets home from work. Remind him what a wonderful person you are so he keeps coming home to you.
My husband loves to have me dress with necklaces and earrings. Small change but something he loves. And I love to impress him!
I try to do things for my husband to make him happy, excited, and want to be with me. Not that he doesn't *want* to be with me... see this is already getting me in trouble!
Last year after we lost Otis I said I needed to figure out who the heck I am! This includes losing weight, trying out new things, and part of it is not dressing "like a mom".
When Arnold and I met we were in university. We lived across the hall from each other. And while I didn't totally care what I was wearing (but mind you I only packed my "good" clothes) I was careful what I wore.
When I got sick I was ok handling people, including Arnold, see me in PJ pants and a t-shirt. In fact that how I spent most of my second year... in PJ pants and t-shirts. Not because I was sick but because I just didn't care anymore.
Slowly I began to realize I can't live in my pj's so I started to find something that worked for me. But being plus size and being in university, clothes weren't always the top thing for me to afford. Shirts were a lot of money, unless you got them at Walmart, and pants were always way more. I still remember buying my first "performance" shirt to do a duet with my friend Lyle. It was this blue shirt with sliver glitter lines in it. So wonderful. I *just* tossed it in the donation pile last month. It was about $60.00 and I was so worried about wearing it too much to ruin it.
Now I'm still figuring it out. I'm currently in jeans and a t-shirt writing this out. I've begun adding new things to my wardrobe that my husband likes, or encourages. Some things I'm not fond of. Others I'll "try" and still others I love more than anything. I've found in the past 5 months I have spent more on clothes than I ever have before. And I'm ok with that. I'm beginning to wear things that are less "mommy" and more "adult" ish.
Back to my dress to impress title. Dress the way your husband enjoys, if you can. I'm not saying if you are a plus size woman and your hubby like skin tight clothes you should wear that. I'm saying dress how you are comfortable, dress how you look good, and remember that your husband likes how you look. I was once told to dress and look good when your husband gets home from work. Remind him what a wonderful person you are so he keeps coming home to you.
My husband loves to have me dress with necklaces and earrings. Small change but something he loves. And I love to impress him!
Friday, April 19, 2013
New Food Fridays.... humm life got in the way.
I know that normally I post something here 2 times a day for my "New Food Fridays". Except this week. I'm so behind on things that I just haven't gotten my posts ready. I know I know I've said the same thing before but it's so true.
I'm hoping to get some time this weekend to get my act together and work on some new stuff.
Next week we will be back to our regularly schedule program!
I'm hoping to get some time this weekend to get my act together and work on some new stuff.
Next week we will be back to our regularly schedule program!
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Road Rage
Oh my gosh!
Do they think I can read their minds?
Seriously?
Would you just go!
Humm.. they may not almost kill someone if they would just use their signal lights!
That *was* a green light... thanks for not going!
yeah... I'm mean sometimes. And at times I just can't "handle" being nice anymore.
But dang... Road Rage is becoming more and more of something I need to watch.
I've been driving more. Normally it was just a few days a week (Sundays, Monday nights, Wednesday nights, Thursday afternoon/night and then maybe on the Saturday?). But now I'm working outside the home and I'm driving 2 times a week (sometimes more) to work and back. I've taken to turning off the radio and listening to Christian music instead. I can honestly say that has "helped" my road rage.
Then.. there are times.. like today, where I just want to shake someone. It started when I was late leaving. Odd how that seems to "help/harm" the situation. I was late getting out of work and then late leaving to get Quinton from school. If there's one thing I really truly hate, it's people being late. Even more so when it's to pick up their kids.
So I was late and started home. Someone had parked in a lane where they shouldn't have. I moved around them. Around now my annoyance meter is about 2 or so.
I got up to the lights and I know this set of lights. I know that there is an advanced green for the other lane, except during the non-peak times (when I'm driving) and then it's both green at the same time. I know that just past this intersection there is a parking lane and EVERYONE uses it. If you are not in the left lane at the lights you will be forced to make your way (rudely I might add) into the left lane. Sure enough.. someone 3 cars back can't stand being behind everyone and pulls into the right lane, comes up to the lights and then putts along beside me until we cross the intersection. Here's where I figure, if you haven't sped up then you aren't trying to get in my lane until AFTER me. Well I was wrong. Turns out he wanted in, and he wanted it now. So here we go.. he floors it to get around me. I have to slam my breaks (hoping the guy behind me doesn't hit me) so the dude in the right lane can get into mine. My annoyance meter is about 4 now.
Then he slows down (annoyance meter is 5). This drives me crazy. Not only did this guy slow down to 40 (speed limit is 50) he was staying in the left lane. Now maybe this is just me but isn't the left lane for FAST people? Those who are ok with daring to get a speeding ticket? Guess what! When I'm late getting my son I'm ok with getting a ticket to get him. I hate for my babies to think that I've "left" them somewhere. It's horrible.
Then we get to another intersection. This dude is still ahead of me (I would have passed if it weren't for the other people behind me getting annoyed and moving around us first). I figure it's now or never. I'm going to pass him after this intersection and then I will go BACK over 2 lanes to get into the turning lane. Sure enough I go to move over (signal light and everything) and he goes over too, without his light on! I was SO mad. I had to get back into those people who were waiting for me and the slow dude to speed up to go by so I could get back over and get into the turning lane before missing the intersection (Annoyance meter is around 7 now).
I turn left and finally think, great! I'm almost home and I should *just* make it to school on time to get Q. No more worries. I finally start to relax a bit and I meet another "dude". This one figures it's ok to not drive in 2 lane. Nope 2 lanes are MUCH better to drive in. It's almost as if he had NO idea where the lanes were. People were honking their horns and getting mad. I'm just about to blow a fuse and I suddenly clue in.
I'm a jerk.
I could be giving this person a break. Relaxing. Enjoying the drive. Taking in all the amazing things God has provided us with today. It's a wonderful warm day, the flowers are coming up and I should remember to look at those. Not just the people around me in cars, the people walking and those who drive me crazy. But I need to remember to take some time to take God's beauty in.
So the next time Road Rage hits me I'm going to slow down. Take a deep breath. And remember that this may just be my only "quiet" time I get all day.
Do they think I can read their minds?
Seriously?
Would you just go!
Humm.. they may not almost kill someone if they would just use their signal lights!
That *was* a green light... thanks for not going!
yeah... I'm mean sometimes. And at times I just can't "handle" being nice anymore.
But dang... Road Rage is becoming more and more of something I need to watch.
I've been driving more. Normally it was just a few days a week (Sundays, Monday nights, Wednesday nights, Thursday afternoon/night and then maybe on the Saturday?). But now I'm working outside the home and I'm driving 2 times a week (sometimes more) to work and back. I've taken to turning off the radio and listening to Christian music instead. I can honestly say that has "helped" my road rage.
Then.. there are times.. like today, where I just want to shake someone. It started when I was late leaving. Odd how that seems to "help/harm" the situation. I was late getting out of work and then late leaving to get Quinton from school. If there's one thing I really truly hate, it's people being late. Even more so when it's to pick up their kids.
So I was late and started home. Someone had parked in a lane where they shouldn't have. I moved around them. Around now my annoyance meter is about 2 or so.
I got up to the lights and I know this set of lights. I know that there is an advanced green for the other lane, except during the non-peak times (when I'm driving) and then it's both green at the same time. I know that just past this intersection there is a parking lane and EVERYONE uses it. If you are not in the left lane at the lights you will be forced to make your way (rudely I might add) into the left lane. Sure enough.. someone 3 cars back can't stand being behind everyone and pulls into the right lane, comes up to the lights and then putts along beside me until we cross the intersection. Here's where I figure, if you haven't sped up then you aren't trying to get in my lane until AFTER me. Well I was wrong. Turns out he wanted in, and he wanted it now. So here we go.. he floors it to get around me. I have to slam my breaks (hoping the guy behind me doesn't hit me) so the dude in the right lane can get into mine. My annoyance meter is about 4 now.
Then he slows down (annoyance meter is 5). This drives me crazy. Not only did this guy slow down to 40 (speed limit is 50) he was staying in the left lane. Now maybe this is just me but isn't the left lane for FAST people? Those who are ok with daring to get a speeding ticket? Guess what! When I'm late getting my son I'm ok with getting a ticket to get him. I hate for my babies to think that I've "left" them somewhere. It's horrible.
Then we get to another intersection. This dude is still ahead of me (I would have passed if it weren't for the other people behind me getting annoyed and moving around us first). I figure it's now or never. I'm going to pass him after this intersection and then I will go BACK over 2 lanes to get into the turning lane. Sure enough I go to move over (signal light and everything) and he goes over too, without his light on! I was SO mad. I had to get back into those people who were waiting for me and the slow dude to speed up to go by so I could get back over and get into the turning lane before missing the intersection (Annoyance meter is around 7 now).
I turn left and finally think, great! I'm almost home and I should *just* make it to school on time to get Q. No more worries. I finally start to relax a bit and I meet another "dude". This one figures it's ok to not drive in 2 lane. Nope 2 lanes are MUCH better to drive in. It's almost as if he had NO idea where the lanes were. People were honking their horns and getting mad. I'm just about to blow a fuse and I suddenly clue in.
I'm a jerk.
I could be giving this person a break. Relaxing. Enjoying the drive. Taking in all the amazing things God has provided us with today. It's a wonderful warm day, the flowers are coming up and I should remember to look at those. Not just the people around me in cars, the people walking and those who drive me crazy. But I need to remember to take some time to take God's beauty in.
So the next time Road Rage hits me I'm going to slow down. Take a deep breath. And remember that this may just be my only "quiet" time I get all day.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Marriage Mondays ~ Appreciating a Good Dad/Spouse
I've tried, not too hard, but kept in mind, that not everyone reading this has kids. They are a "touchy subject" in our house sometimes but still my children have ALOT to do with our marriage and how we live and how we treat each other.
For example, this past week between our kids therapy appointments, swimming lessons, school, class trip, birthdays, get togethers, and everything else that's part of a "normal" week for Arnold and I, I didn't get a chance to make my Marriage Monday post beforehand.
Bad Miranda!
I know...
Still, here I am, just after lunch ready to post away and I couldn't think of a good topic. Nothing was going, "ok, write about this, someone needs to hear/read this". I'm not saying that happens all the time but I can honestly say I have a few "saved" Marriage Monday posts that are my backups and nothing is pushing me to post about those today.
So instead I'll post about appreciating a good Dad/Spouse.
Ever since our weekend away in January, Arnold and I have tried to reconnect more. We spend more time together, we are careful with our relationship and we are more understanding of what each other needs.
This weekend was "my" turn to have my needs met. Starting on Thursday night I had more problems than ever with my cell phone. Arnold spent a few hours backing it up and making it all work better. But it still had issues on Friday so Friday night Arnold stayed up late and factory-reset my phone. He made sure it was working perfectly before giving it back to me.
Arnold was so wonderful to go grocery shopping with me on Friday night. We got everything we wanted to get at the store (minus 2 things we forgot) and he was wonderful about encouraging me to purchase things we wanted to restock but not always need to.
On Friday night I planned a get together with some of the youth girls. Which meant our plans as a family to go to Home Depot and do their craft and some shopping weren't going to happen. This also meant I was taking the car and the boys would be taking the bus. For Arnold, this is no big deal. But with some extra people (ie my kids) it's sometimes harder.
Arnold met my needs by helping out, being so willing to take the boys still and not worry about anything else and just enjoy this time with the boys. During the rest of our Saturday together while friends were here he was attentive, wonderful, helpful with the kids. I love how he interacts with them.
Sunday morning we had some "snuggle time" on the couch. We both ate our breakfasts and visited about what we had planned for the day, how we were both doing and what we were aiming to get done. Then, that afternoon he did some fix it jobs for me.
I may never say this enough, but he really is a wonderful dad/husband.
While the girls and I were out on Saturday I picked up one of those daily calendars. It's a flip one from the movie "Courageous". I always look at that days date, and my birthday to see if it's worth getting!
Saturdays date was this:
It's so true. While I do try to show my husband I appreciate him, it doesn't always happen. But let me tell you, do I appreciate him? HECK YES! And I love him so much more.
For example, this past week between our kids therapy appointments, swimming lessons, school, class trip, birthdays, get togethers, and everything else that's part of a "normal" week for Arnold and I, I didn't get a chance to make my Marriage Monday post beforehand.
Bad Miranda!
I know...
Still, here I am, just after lunch ready to post away and I couldn't think of a good topic. Nothing was going, "ok, write about this, someone needs to hear/read this". I'm not saying that happens all the time but I can honestly say I have a few "saved" Marriage Monday posts that are my backups and nothing is pushing me to post about those today.
So instead I'll post about appreciating a good Dad/Spouse.
Ever since our weekend away in January, Arnold and I have tried to reconnect more. We spend more time together, we are careful with our relationship and we are more understanding of what each other needs.
This weekend was "my" turn to have my needs met. Starting on Thursday night I had more problems than ever with my cell phone. Arnold spent a few hours backing it up and making it all work better. But it still had issues on Friday so Friday night Arnold stayed up late and factory-reset my phone. He made sure it was working perfectly before giving it back to me.
Arnold was so wonderful to go grocery shopping with me on Friday night. We got everything we wanted to get at the store (minus 2 things we forgot) and he was wonderful about encouraging me to purchase things we wanted to restock but not always need to.
On Friday night I planned a get together with some of the youth girls. Which meant our plans as a family to go to Home Depot and do their craft and some shopping weren't going to happen. This also meant I was taking the car and the boys would be taking the bus. For Arnold, this is no big deal. But with some extra people (ie my kids) it's sometimes harder.
Arnold met my needs by helping out, being so willing to take the boys still and not worry about anything else and just enjoy this time with the boys. During the rest of our Saturday together while friends were here he was attentive, wonderful, helpful with the kids. I love how he interacts with them.
Sunday morning we had some "snuggle time" on the couch. We both ate our breakfasts and visited about what we had planned for the day, how we were both doing and what we were aiming to get done. Then, that afternoon he did some fix it jobs for me.
I may never say this enough, but he really is a wonderful dad/husband.
While the girls and I were out on Saturday I picked up one of those daily calendars. It's a flip one from the movie "Courageous". I always look at that days date, and my birthday to see if it's worth getting!
Saturdays date was this:
It's so true. While I do try to show my husband I appreciate him, it doesn't always happen. But let me tell you, do I appreciate him? HECK YES! And I love him so much more.
Friday, April 12, 2013
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