Tuesday, August 20, 2013

I don't wanna....

Forewarning... I'm having a "night"  I'm bummed, mad and upset.  I can't take anymore "bad" things happening and I need to vent.  This is not something I'm looking for to be fixed, or "made better".  It's just me an my emotions.

I don't wanna have a house that's a mess
I don't wanna have a fridge that isn't full
I don't wanna have a dryer that needs 4 + times to dry 3 towels!
I don't wanna have boys who are having health problems
I don't wanna have sick family members
I don't wanna have people in my house that can't do things for themselves
I don't wanna have a husband who is the tech guy at our church
I don't wanna have a broken work computer
I don't wanna have lost all of my information from church
I don't wanna have to rebuild all of my work from the past 5 months
I don't wanna have to share my office/workspace with random people
I don't wanna have to leave my personal items from my life out of my office so others can't "use" my office
I don't wanna have to have our boat vacation cancelled
I don't wanna have a dad who has cancer
I don't wanna have dad's cancer be such a concern that they up his radiation
I don't wanna lose my father
I don't wanna see my mom panic all the time
I don't wanna see my parent's move
I don't wanna lose my only "home" I've known since I've been married
I don't wanna go to a cottage for vacation (it reminds me of the last time I was at a cottage pregnant with Otis)
I don't wanna cry so much
I don't wanna be alone so much
I don't wanna have to hide my feelings
I don't wanna keep things inside for fear of making people upset
I don't wanna be left out of choices that affect me even if I'm not full time
I don't wanna be bumped from my schools job placement
I don't wanna be renting
I don't wanna be the "responsible one"
I don't wanna be the one that has to make everything better
I don't wanna be the one that stresses out about everything
I don't wanna be a stress eater
I don't wanna have a "big belly" like my boys say
I don't wanna be lazy
I don't wanna be a slob
I don't wanna be someone who can't lose weight
I don't wanna be on blood pressure meds
I don't wanna have an unmarked grave for my son
I don't wanna use their markers for his site
I don't wanna take up 2 people's "spaces" for Otis and Baby Casey
I don't wanna have babies who are dead
I don't wanna "see them in heaven"... I want them here now
I don't wanna just be a family of "2 boys on earth and 2 babies in heaven"
I don't wanna be "that mom"
I don't wanna be dealing with stress in an unhealthy way
I don't wanna look at the scale every Friday and want to cry
I don't wanna have a husband who spends more time running around doing things for others than spending time with his kids
I don't wanna be demanding my husband spend time with his family
I don't wanna be someone who stresses about money
I don't wanna be someone who can't keep their life in order
I don't wanna have a mother-in-law who has cancer
I don't wanna be here in Ontario and not be able to be there when she has her big appointment
I don't wanna be so far away from all our family
I don't wanna.....
I don't wanna.....

I just don't wanna.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

What a Summer!

I'm sure this is a crazy post to be putting up but I feel like our summer is over!  I don't mean like our summer is actually over but it sure feels like it.

Our summer has been a world wind of adventure.

It started the day school was over!  Arnold and Quinton headed to Edmonton/Calgary and went to visit family.  It's a tradition for our family to go and visit Alberta family.  When the boys "Graduate" they get to go.  Since there is a graduation ceremony for the kids from SK to grade 1 our boys get excited to go to Alberta.

While the big and little boy were in Alberta I was in Sarnia with Kyler!  We had a great few days there.  Between playing in the pool, having friends over for Canada Day, going to church and visiting our vacation was packed full.

We came home in time for Kyler to get his first tooth pulled from the dentist and for me to work for a few days.

Kyler and I picked up Arnold and Quinton and our fun began!

We had 2 days as our family of 4 and then the fun arrived!

Amber and Lisa arrived and we started the fun.  We did our first week at Forward Baptist Church for Kingdom Rock!  It was so much fun.  It was a half-day day camp.  We got there at 9am and then we were home around noon.  The kids had a lot of fun.  And cute t-shirts to prove it!

That weekend we chilled out and played at home.  Sunday brought us into a new week.

A New week of fun!

We started the Zoo camp.  Zoo Camp was for everyone!  All 4 of them headed out at 8:25am and I picked them up at 3:30pm.  We had a lot of fun.  Every day the kids came home with something new they had learned and were excited to start it all over again.  They had a great time and really enjoyed the Pandas.

That Saturday morning Aunt B came and picked up the girls.  So started our week alone.  While it was alone things got crazy!  We didn't really get any downtime but hey, that happens, right?

We headed to Sarnia on Friday.  Kyler, Quinton and I went to get Arnold from work.  Since he works late Monday to Thursday he gets to leave half day Fridays.  We were on the road and very little traffic!  It was great.  We stopped in Cambridge and picked up the girls early and then we were *so* quick that we even stopped and dropped off the coats that needed to be repaired at the Columbia headquarters in London. 

The 6 of us arrived in Sarnia in time to see the moving truck moving out the last of my grandparents things from my parents house.  While on the way home my mom had texted me and told me they were thinking of moving. 

I went into high gear that week.  I worked on the basement on Saturday and Sunday and we got the rooms cleaned up, took 4 trips to Goodwill and even got some taping done to paint a few areas in the house.  Monday I finished up the rest and got some painters out to work on the house.  The Student Painters came out and did our house and I got a "break" on Friday.

During this week the kids were at Temple Baptist Day Camp.  This year was so much fun for the 4 of them.  I dropped them off around 8:50am or so and picked them up around 4-4:30pm.  They had a blast!  While we did have to visit the lost and found table at least 3 of the 5 days it was still a great time by all.  I really loved hearing the things they had learned and how much fun they had.

By Friday we had a great pool night.  The kids played in the pool ALL NIGHT!  Finally, after doing glow in the dark time, I kicked them off to bed around 10:15pm or so.

Saturday morning Becca started her trip down to Sarnia.  The plan was to do some shopping for the kids.  You know... Back to school shopping :)  Becca ended up having a tire blow on her van and no spares.  We had to send backup (ie Arnold and Dad).  They went out and fixed her up.  All in all it took about 3 hours more than expected. 

Mom had to go to work by then so Arnold, Kyler, Quinton, Becca, Amber, Lisa, and myself hit the malls.  We went to Children's place, payless, Wal-Mart, Bonnie Togs, and home again.  Lots of crazy times.  We got almost everything.  I have to say the "Do you really need that?  If you buy it Auntie M is getting rid of the SAME out fit you have at home" works :)  Got to love carrying the money from mom and dad :)

We got home and showed our treasures off to Nana and Papa.  Then Aunt B and Arnold headed out to get our vans fixed.  Ours was there but Beccas needed a new tire for it. 

All of us headed out that night.  It worked out well as my parents listed their house on the Sunday night.

We had a few days to chill and just veg in front of the TV or elsewhere.  I think the kids really needed it.  This is the first summer things have seemed so hard core.  It was great for me as I really needed to get work done and having them in camps during the day was fantastic.

Monday evening (after we had a great lunch with friends) Aunt B brought the girls back over for the week.

This week they are doing Swim Camp.  So far it's been a bust but hey!  Tuesday they showed up and the pool had no chlorine in it.  It was horrible.  Wednesday it still wasn't fixed.  So I had to sign a waver saying the kids could go on the bus and go elsewhere for their lessons.  No big deal for me.  Wednesday was ok since they were all out at the Toronto Island.  They had a great time. 

Lisa and I are chilling.  See, she is too little to go!  So instead she has hung out with Uncle Jack one day, then a babysitter (Anna) the next.  And today we are going to the movies.  If only Auntie M could read the right movie theater we would be set.  hopefully I've got it right now.

Sunday morning everyone comes here and we do our family day at the zoo.  We are pretty excited.

Oh and this week... my parents sold their house and bought a new one!  Their closing date for both houses is August 30th.  Our last day on the houseboat!  Was an exciting week!

Because of the sale being so quick it means that Arnold and I are not getting our week alone with no kids.  I have to work (I need the hours as I'm not working the last week in August).  So I'm going into work on Monday and Tuesday.  Thankfully there is no bulletin to be done so I'm just going to be getting those little pesky things done that need to get done.  Hopefully it helps get the office in order. 

Right now (which means things ALWAYS change) I'm thinking of heading out on  Tuesday around noon or so.  I'm hoping it gives me light traffic.  I'll head to Sarnia and start packing.  I'll pack Tuesday night, Wednesday and Thursday.  I'm aiming to come home on Thursday night and have a half a day with Arnold and no kids.  Then we will pick them up in Cambridge on Saturday, as planned.

This is where our family of 6/7 ends.  Amber and Lisa get to hang out with their grandparents for a week and our boys are doing the Boys and Girls Day camp at the end of the road.  I'm really excited for them.  Their adventure is going to the movies!! 

During the week I'm going to be working at church (hopefully getting 4 bulletins done in one week) and then, if time allows, decluttering my house!

Becca, Amber, and Lisa arrive on Thursday night!  Arnold, Kyler, Quinton and I will be taking Lisa up to the boat and Becca will come on Saturday with Amber and Jack.  Mom and Dad will be arriving then as well.  We are out on the boat for a bit.  Mom and Dad need to come back on the Wednesday.  We have the boat until Friday.  Then we all head down and help them finish moving.

I believe we are going to stay in Sarnia that weekend and "camp" in their new big backyard!  Finally we get to camp AND use the tent we got 2 Christmases ago!!  (I'm excited for this!)

We will head back to Toronto on Monday and Tuesday... School starts.

See how our summer seems a bit crazy?