Monday, February 11, 2013

Marriage Mondays ~ Spend A Little Time On Him

Last week I wrote about connecting with your husband.  It may not have been the perfect post but that's ok.

This week I wanted to talk about Spending a Little Time On Him.  I'm not sure about you but lately I've been alot more "me, me, me, me, and oh yeah, ME".  So spending time on my husband was hard!  It's not that I didn't want to or that I couldn't, just that I had to make an effort.

Arnold has been so sweet since our weekend away.  He even popped a card in the mail about 4 days after we got home.  It told me how thankful he was that I went away with him for the weekend and how much fun he had getting to know me.

Now all at once ladies "awwwwwww"  That's right.  So how do I return the love to him?  How do I spend some time on him?

I got the chance on Friday (Jan 25th).  Arnold had done me a favour by taking Kyler to the community centre and was late leaving for work.  It meant he was going to be late getting home as well.

Then when he got to work he had a conference text with Germany and some "holy crap" projects to work on, a few top priorities things that had to be done and just way too much.  I was asked "What'd I do this morning to deserve a mess when I got to work?"  Talk about heartbreak.  How do you tell your husband, "nothing, it's all everyone else's fault".  Instead my response was "Nothing sweety.  It's just hard sometimes. Hopefully moving things around with release dates and stuff will be easier from now on.  I'm praying for you, love.  Sometimes days are just hard." 

Notice something? 

"I'm praying for you"  I"m praying for him.  And right then and there I was praying for him.  I was praying his day would get better, his mind would be a bit more at ease and he would be able to relax.

I started a random search online for things to do for your husband.  I was reading the ideas and came up with one.  Have a nice night for your husband and then it came to me...

I made my husband an "evite".  It emailed to him with an invitation to a "Happy Hour" party. 

Here's what it said below:

Message from Host

You are invited to at least 1 hour of your own doing.  Tonight from 8:30 until 9:30pm you can do as you want with yourself and the house (and those in it).  If for some reason we are out past 8:30pm tonight with the boys this will begin as soon as we get home.

Your Cider and a cool cup will be waiting for you. 

Some ideas are a bath, a movie, a game on the Wii/Xbox, or just some time snuggling on the couch, or more... in bed :) 

Your Sexy Wife

His response:  YES!  Wouldn't miss it.

What did we end up doing...

Once the boys got to bed I poured my hardworking husband a cider (he loves Strongbow) in a chilled glass (yes ladies, I thought ahead enough to put his favourite cup in the freezer).  I turned off all the unnecessary lights and got some moisturizer.  I got 2 blankets and set a pillow on the floor.  When he had finished reading a bedtime story to the boys I sent him to the washroom to change into his PJ pants and fresh white t-shirt and his favourite hoodie. 

When he came out I asked what movie he wanted to watch.  I kinda expected a Dr. Who episode, but thankfully those are done until March.  Instead he had been bantering back and forth with a guy at work today about Monty Python movies, so we ended up watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  Let me tell you, Arnold and I have COMPLETE differences on movies like that.  Yes, I've seen them (thanks to the "Dave's" in high school) but do I like them...  no.  They are not my cup of tea at all.  So this was a "sacrifice" for me.  Arnold really enjoys them so we watched it.  I sat on the floor on the pillow and rubbed his feet while he watched it.  Who knew Arnold would like his feet being rubbed that much?  A foot rub turned into a shoulder and neck and upper arm rub, then moved into a back massage.  Once that was done I helped him put his shirt and hoodie back on, rubbed his back a bit then changed spots (by this time I had moved onto the couch for the back rub and he was on the floor).

Arnold got comfy on the couch and I pulled out the electric fondue pot and the last cheese container we had and some bread Arnold had bought the day before (expecting us to use it Thursday).  We had our own loafs and we ate up the cheese fondue. 

Then I put it away, gave him something else to drink and left him alone.  I didn't interrupt him for things that weren't important.  This is key, I let him have his space, in his "nothing" box.  Notice how some of the "nothing" boxes look like a box?  (This was pointed out at the retreat).  The TV is a nothing box, the XBOX is a nothing box, the bed is a nothing box.  Most of his boxes are actual boxes!

I read some of my book and checked up on the Internet and let him have an evening to himself.  We went to bed shortly after 10pm.  I had him go get in bed and I closed up the house (normally the other way around).  When I got downstairs he was almost asleep.... almost :)

I realize spending an evening with your husband may not be the easiest thing for you but sometimes it pays off.  This morning I got some snuggle time, sleeping in, boys out of the house for the morning, walkway shoveled and he even did some laundry!  What a blessing my husband is.

Oh and the best part... I found a few days later that hubby was bragging to his friends at work.  He showed them his invite to his own happy hour!  Yes!  I did something brag worthy at work!  This makes me happy.

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