Day #2 - Prepare

Prepare.

How do you prepare for Christmas?

We start with buying a Christmas tree and setting it up.  We get it decorated when we can and enjoy.

We go shopping and get gifts.  I watch Christmas movies and wrap the gifts.  I love it.

The boys count down with their advent calendars and get more and more excited.

We love preparing for Christmas.

Advent photo-a-day Day #1

A while ago a friend of mine posted something about an advent photo-a-day challenge.  I love it!

Today the picture was to be about Hope.

We talked about hope in church today.  About having advent hope. 

My advent hope is that Jesus has seen the end and there is a house with many rooms for me!

And slowly it's not memorable.....

It's that time of year again.  Where I try to stay as busy as possible and not think about anything. 

And I do mean anything!

About 3 years ago, to the hour, we were told that our son's heart had stopped beating.  They said our baby was dead. 

Want to know the first thing out of my mouth?

Thank God!

Followed by tears. 

These are the kind of tears that never stop. 

That ultrasound was the hardest thing in the world.  We were trying to make the choice between continuing the pregnancy and possibly having more serious health risks, or ending our child's life so that I could recover. 

After that ultrasound, Arnold and I went back to the hospital room and cried.  We cried and cried and cried.  The tears didn't stop until hours after.

The hospital worked fast.  We went to the delivery rooms and began to be induced.  I got to shower and eat before our labour began.

Was it crazy for me to thank God?  No. 

I thank God that He was able to make the choice for Arnold and I.  I could never, ever choose between my life and my child's.  And Arnold knew that, my parents knew that, and they all knew what that would mean.

Eventually it would mean brain damage and death.

I still cry when I think about Otis.  I was talking to a friend at school the other day and I teared up.  I try not to break down.

Every year it gets easier.  Last year I was crying in the hallway all morning with a good friend of mine.  This year... I've made it through the day with only a few tears.

While this day, or even this weekend, doesn't mean a lot to people.  It does to me.  My friends have slowly forgotten about our son, but I know I haven't.  

And it's ok.  Totally ok.  Not everyone has to remember everything.  Just remember it's hard for me and my family.

My Christmas List

I've been asked lately what is on my Christmas list.  And I have to say... I'm not sure! 

How sad is that?

I'm not sure what I want.  I've always thought Christmas was more of a "want" holiday.  But lately it has become a need.  Which, don't get me wrong, is wonderful!  But sometimes a "want" is funer than a "need".

I recently joined a group online called "40 bags in 40 days".  It was created by a woman in the USA who had lost her best friend and a parent within a few days.  After realizing how much stuff there was to go through for them she never wanted that to happen to her family when she passed on.

I've been following the group and getting incredible inspiration.  Last night, someone posted on the group:

"This year for Christmas I don't want stuff.  I want time."

She didn't want time to herself (but hey, that could be nice!), she wanted time with her grandkids.  She wanted time to get things in order.  And mostly she didn't want more "stuff" in her house!

I kind of understand.  I want to get stuff and time!

If I could find my perfect Christmas list it would be:

My mom, at my house, for 3-5 days.  During these days we would drop the boys off at school then attack a room or 2.  We would take everything out of the room.  Decide if it was worth keeping, donating or trashing.  Then repaint/touch up or do any minor repairs.  And put the room back together.  I'd go to work at lunch (for a break!) while my mom slept.  Then back home to do more work on the room(s).

My dad, breakfast date!  I would love to go out with my daddy and spend some time with him.  While is cancer is getting better, it is still a reminder that we have to spend time together when we can.  And I'd love a date day/meal with my daddy.

My brother, babysitting for a weekend!  So I could get away with my hubby.  We haven't done that in a while, and after spending time together this past weekend I realized we need more of it.

My kids - I'd take anything they give me!  Stuff or time!

My Mom and Dad in law, visiting!!  We love spending time with Arnold's side of the family.  If it is just going to visit them in Alberta, or spending some time at a vacation home or anything!  But we would love for them to come and visit us here in Toronto again.  We haven't been able to show them the house!  Arnold has said out loud more than once that he would love to show his Dad what he has done.  Mind you our house is small so I'm not so sure how visiting would really work!  Unless they borrowed and RV and stayed in the driveway (warmer weather) or a hotel nearby.


***Now please, if you are reading this and are listed above, do not feel like this is what I have to have, or anytime soon.  It's just something I'd love to see happen!

And yes, I'll still take gift cards for home depot :)  We have a second level, basement and a backyard to think about!!

ES

In my household ES days stand for "Emergency Supply".  These are the days when I get called into work.  Not just my normal work (FDK LRS) but some sort of emergency work. 

 

Today was my emergency supply for a SNA (Special Needs Assistant).  It was wonderful!  I worked with my best little man.  He and I have worked together before and I had a blast. 

 

It was fun to check out other things going on in the school.  We had music class together.

 

I do miss music class!!  But we had a blast.  This little dude had an amazing time and is fantastic at dancing!!

 

SNA isn't the only thing I supply for.  I've been an ECE, Teacher and EA!  I live each of those jobs too!!

 

But these days make my days crazy busy!  I always feel like this is much harder on me and the family.  It takes alot out of me and I get grumpy sometimes.

 

Thankfully my boys understand and my kids enjoy is having a bit of extra money :-)

So Proud!

Every once and a while (or more than that) my kids make me so proud I want to share it with the world.

Sometimes it is after a long week of struggling to get them to study their spelling words and they get 9/10.

Other times it is when they finally remember to bring home all their homework every day that week (the struggle is real in this house ladies and gents).

And still others are when our children come home with an honour.

This week Quinton came home with an extra piece of paper in his backpack.  It was a story, or part of a story, highlighted about the poppy and the wars that Canada has been in.

He has been working so hard on learning this and being able to say it in front of people.

While he tells me he is "shy" I know it's not true.  This little man is going to be amazing.

So on November the 11th at 11am while everyone is taking 2 minutes to remember those who have fallen and what they have done for us, please think of Quinton.  Send him a little love!!

Prepared?

Sometimes I ask myself if I'm prepared.  Prepared for life.  Prepared for school.  Prepared for my children's lives.  Prepared for dinner.  Prepared for anything...

 

 

I am a big planner so sometimes I am prepared.  Other times I'm totally not ready. 

I've had a few weeks lately when I've been unprepared.  School seems to do that to me.  Thankfully I'm generally ready for school!

 

 

We have finally planned our monthly meals and got our lives in order! 

 

I got things in order for parent council stuff.  It takes me a while to get things prepared but it is now!  Which helps me out alot!!

 

 

I don't know about you but sometimes being prepared for life makes things a little easier :-)

It's just the beginning

Today was totally a Monday.

You know those Mondays when you feel like everything is going well, you are finally on the ball and then things start dropping away.

That was today. 

I had bags ready to go to school.  My tote was filled, I had 2 more bags and I was ready to go!

We got to school and I walked around and delivered all of my things to other people and slowly I got more done.  Then.... things went a little crazy.  The ECE in the room I work in was a little late this morning so I was trying to get things going in that room.   Just as things were getting in order our ECE showed up and I backed off to my "Parent Volunteer" role.

Then I forgot to go and check on a class that asked for help in the AM, and I blanked on getting a few things done. 

At lunch, one of my kids with an allergy ended up sitting beside a kid who brought something the first kid was allergic too.  Quick move and disinfectant on everything and we were back in the game.

Outside my kids have clued in about a certain student who is always getting in trouble.  And now they blame everything on him.  Today was just the beginning of "he took my shovel", but when I said I would watch them to see what happen again the kid said "oh, then never mind".

After lunch I got home and my dog was all wet from panting.  I don't know what to do about him.

Shortly after... I realized I forgot my new water bottle at school.

So getting ready for the gym was a bit of a challenge. 

And at the gym my besty's son called from school to go home so gym time was cut short ( family ALWAYS comes first!).

Supper I didn't have all the ingredients for, and picking up the kids seemed to be a bit crazy.

It was just one of those days.  It's the beginning of a week and so becomes a bit crazy.... but it's just the beginning

Still Around...

It's been a long few months. 

We are trucking along here at our house.  Things are just crazy!

This month I'm challenging myself to write more.  There is this thing out there called NaNoWriMo.  It stands for National Novel Writers Month.

It's meant for people who want to write a novel.  Me.. no way!  I'm not writing a novel at all!  You are to try and write about 1,665 words or so per day.  My challenge... writing each day, not even that many words :)

So will we get there?  Who knows!  But here's to day 1 :)