Thursday, February 12, 2015

The "Other Mother"

When I was a little girl I remember getting the most devastating news of my life (at the time), my eyes weren't shaped right and I couldn't get contacts.


4 eyes forever.

What a disappointment. 

What heartbreak

I totally remember sitting on the front porch of our house on Glady's Street.  It was a wonderful picket fence, nice and white and beautiful.  There was this little gate for you to come into and sit down.  My parents had put chairs in the front with a little table. 

I had finished school for the day.  It was a rough day, but on the bonus side I wasn't bullied that day on the way home.  Things seemed to be looking up.  It was exciting for me.  I was going to hear when my appointment was for my contacts so I could look just the same as everyone else.

I skipped across the front yard and opened the gate and sat down with my mom.  I must have looked so excited because she immediately said "Hunny, I have some bad news"..

And then things went downhill.

I cried.  And cried... and cried.

Just as I was sure my life was completely over, a blue Volvo pulled into our driveway after being waved down by my mom.  Mom's best friend, Joanie, came over to see what was wrong.  My mom said to her "Mandy needs her other mother right now.  She was just told she can't have contacts".

Joanie did her "awe baby!  we can get you some awesome glasses!"  and pulled me into a huge hug and let me cry.

That's not the only time I've had my other mother come and help me. 

When Otis died I called her and she walked away from her company and cried with me on the phone.  I was having one of those "I can do anything" moments.  You know... after a loss, you never have those moments without breaking down.  And Joanie was the one person who I knew I could call and she would understand.

Sometimes I feel that the "Other Mother" is something every child should have.

My kids do!

My kids met their "Other Mother" when we moved to this area.  Q was 2 and K was 4.  Arnold would take the boys to the park and come back talking about the adults there... and some chick named Lori "who had boys around our kids ages".  Little did I realize how she would become a big part of our lives!

When the boys were 4 and 6 we were moving into the school system with both boys.  I could see them at school and slowly got to visit with the moms out there after school and I got to know Lori more.  Ever since then she has become a regular part of our lives and family.

Lori and Gabe have 2 boys, Jack and Sam, and they are my children's basic best friends, if not "brothers from another mother".  They hang out, fight, play, and enjoy their time together a lot now. Every day after school Lori makes sure the boys get home while I get my home ready for the evening.

Earlier this week was my prime example of the "Other Mother".

Kyler and his friends built a huge fort.  The kids were given a warning, over the announcements, to leave each others forts alone.   After school, Lori was picking up my boys and her son found Kyler in a corner crying.  From what I understand some of the bigger kids felt it was their job to "make sure the fort was 100% secure" and they kicked it down and threw a lot of the snow chunks into the puddles so they melted.  Kyler's job was to protect the fort afterschool and he blew it.  He was devastated.

Lori ended up taking him into the office, along with some other kids who had seen what happen, and they left a list of names of who had destroyed someone else's fort.

On the way home from school Lori told my boys they were more than welcome to come over to their house for a bit and make a new snow fort in the backyard.  My boys jumped at the chance.  Kyler even told me through his tears that "Lori knew how to make it all better".

I have to admit I did cry a little when they went to her house.  She knew how to make it better right away.

My boys came back after a little while and were so happy.  They got to play with snow dye and had a great time.

As my son says when you ask him "Who loves you?"  "Lori does!"

And I'm perfectly ok with Lori being my children's "Other Mother"

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