My Dearest Otis, 2 years later

My Dearest Otis,

Today marks 2 years since we lay you to rest.  While I think about you often the days are getting further between.  Some mornings I wake up and don't remember what you look like.  And that scares me.

My Dearest Otis,

Your brothers miss you more than I ever thought.  Your brothers think about you a lot and think about you often.  Every once and a while I get this little "What do you think we would be doing with Otis now?"  or "How old would he be?  Would he be in school yet?  Could he walk?"  and sometimes "I wish I could snuggle him".

My Dearest Otis,

Life has changed so much over these past 2 years that all my plans I had for you in our lives seem to never have been able to fit.  Your time with us was so short and so precious and had such an effect on us.

My Dearest Otis,

You were buried with a little angel bear and a white lily in honour of your sibling, Baby Casey.  I trust that you two are having the most amazing time in Heaven.  I envy the time you get to spend together.

My Dearest Otis,

I still cry when I hear your name.  Sometimes it's not so bad, other times its a full break down. Sometimes it's a few tears and other times it's a headache of memories.

My Dearest Otis,

The past few months I've gotten rid of a lot of the baby items I had for you.  For some reason I had held onto every thing I had just incase.  Just incase why?  I have no idea, but I do know they were meant for you.

My Dearest Otis,

I dreamt of you.  I dreamt you were 2 almost 3.  You were walking and talking and playing with toy cars.  You were such a snuggle bug and I spent most of my time watching you and holding you.  You smiled so much and I woke up in tears.  Oh my dearest Otis.  I miss you.

My Dearest Otis,

I miss you more than words and I can't wait to see you in heaven.