.... I was hoping you would change....

Those 6 words made an argument that Arnold and I were having even worse!

Remember those sayings "Can't teach an old dog new tricks?"  or "You can never change a man who is set in his ways"

Well... Arnold said this to me during an argument we were having about me needing things planned out.  He thought I would change from before we got married.

It got me thinking.

Would I change?  Would I ever be able to not have things planned out?  Would I ever be one of those people who could just jump in a car and go?

Nope!

Sorry guys!  I need to plan things out.

I lose sleep over things.  Just ask the people I work with!  I started stressing over something with our kitchen and I literally was up from 2am on thinking my lights wouldn't work.  My co-worker, who is helping with the house, had to draw it out on the white board at work and tell me it would be fine. 

Yes, I'm a freak.

I know!

I need to have things organized, and put in it's place.  It may not be a place you know about but it's a place I know about.  I can tell you where almost any paperwork is in my house.  It may not be in the proper bins and the proper labels but I know where it is.

Do you really hope people will change? 

Sometimes we pretend. 

Sometimes we pretend it's just something we would like to encourage the person to "grow" in that direction.  We may want our children to "grow" and become more responsible.  If it happens YEAH!  if it doesn't... well yeah.

Sometimes we pretend that character flaw is what we love about them.  While I may need to have everything planned out and ordered and ready to go, it comes in handy sometimes!  I am great when it comes to packing for big trips, or getting money organized and budgeting.  I'm wonderful at that.  But making sure child care is figured out before we go on a date (and I mean like 2 days before) makes me mad that it's not done. 

I remember shortly after we lost Otis, we went on a date.  Arnold and I weren't more than 1 km from the house and I flipped out "Why do I have to plan everything!"

And see that?

Right there...

That was when I wanted him to change.

Will he?  No

Will he learn from that?  maybe!

Will I still love him even if he never changes?  ABSOLUTLY!

And that is the most important thing.  I may not change.  We have been married for almost 11 years now and I will not change.  And thank the Lord, Arnold won't change either.  I love him for all he is.