Be still and know that I can do it.

We have all heard/read/seen/been told that verse from the Bible that says “Be still, and know that I am God”. I find it so hard to be still. I mean I used to be able to do it. I was reminded of those days of laying at the beach tanning this past weekend when I saw a photo that a teen in our youth group had taken of the grass. A view which you can only get when laying right down on it. What an incredible thing to see what God has done, and what a view!

While I was at my parents house this weekend I was able to enjoy a few moments alone after a busy day of opening their pool and cleaning up around the yard. It was a hard days work but totally worth it in the end. I was sitting in the hot tub thinking about doing “nothing”. I don’t think I have been able to do “nothing” in a long time. Sure I sit around sometimes and watch TV shows on the computer, but I’m never doing “nothing”. I just can’t. I used to be someone who could do nothing but not now.

Do you ever find your mind wonders like crazy? I mean for me, watching a TV show on my computer involves me getting it started, and then watching a bit and flipping screens to my Internet; checking my e’mail, replying to ones; checking message boards I belong to; flipping back to the movie and when it gets to the opening sequence I skip it. I’m so good (I’m not sure if this is something I should be proud of or not) that I can generally guestimate how far ahead I have to go and normally I can do it within a matter of a few seconds either way. And all through the show this continues. Checking things on my Internet page, replying to posts, e’mails, ect. Doing things that can get done when I want but I do them while I’m watching a TV show. I don’t remember how I used to do this when you had to watch it the nights it was on the TV.

I’m like this with just about anything. I can’t be doing just something. It has to be more than one. I have had dinner on the go, watching a TV program, and working on a grocery list. It’s crazy. I just can’t be still.

This problem affects not only me physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. I can’t sit down and do my devos. That would involve doing one thing at once. That is why I *loved* having the ladies bible study program that was on a video. You could watch TV, take notes and read your bible all at the same time. I believe this is something I may have to push a but more into instead of not doing devos at all!

Emotionally it’s getting to me. I want to be able to “do a brain sweep” as a friend of mine so lovingly called it. I want to be able to clear my mind and not freak out about things that are going on. Some are things I can’t control and I have to start mentally planning for the ‘possible’ results in the future. Others are things I can control but I need to go over it again and again and again. It’s just draining.

I guess eventually, when life is “less crazy” I want to be able to enjoy those days of tanning on the beach, laying in the hot tub and enjoying it rather than having that need to multi-task. One day, I hope to “be still, and know I can do it”.