New Years Eve PARTY!

Hey Readers,

Things have been a bit crazy here.  I've wanted a bit of time to recover from losing Otis, then end of the year at school, Christmas, and now I'm hoping for a fantastic new year.

I did some "pinterest" checking about things to do to celebrate new years.  I wanted something good to do for our family.  So I came up with some plans.

First off, I decorated our tree.  Today we "undecorated" the tree from Christmas things and tonight, while
the boys were napping I redecorated it with a New Years Theme:

It's all decorated with necklaces, noise makers, horns, "2013" glasses, hats, and balloons.

I am so excited for the kids to see the tree :)

There are balloons starting at 5pm and they look like this:

One side has "5pm" on it along with a hint about what we will be doing during that hour, and then on the other side is clock.  Kyler can read the clock (or is learning) and Quinton can read the time written out.  The kids pop the balloons and then find out what we are doing.  Each balloon has a little write up of what we will be doing.  For example... 5pm is a "the fun begins!  Head out on a hunt and see what joys you can find"

The kids will then head out on a hunt around the neighbourhood.  They start at our house with a clue and continue on to the next 4 houses we know.  Each house will have a bag with a treat and a balloon:

We got them new flashlights

They will get little airplanes

Glow in the dark glasses!

Bubbles, but they will freeze when it's below 0 :)

When they get back they will do 6pm (Fondue begins - cheese and bread) and we will talk about their goals for 2013:

Then at 7pm we are doing some Wii games/board games with the kids.  They are really into it now.  And we have a little container with some trophies in it for them, as well as the container will be our families time capsule

8pm we will be doing the Meat Fondue.  Arnold is VERY excited for this part.  The kids will be encouraged to put on their "fat pants" (ie pjs) and new socks:

9pm is time to walk around the neighbourhood and see the lights.  They will be given some glow sticks to go out and walk around:

10pm we will have dessert fondue (fruit and chocolate and marshmallow dip) and make some noise makers:

11pm is movie time!  I could only think of one movie that is a new years theme in it.  It's WTP Seasons Greetings.  We will watch it and the boys get to have their own bowls and fill them with goodies (goodies are still packed away)

11:45pm we will be undecorating the tree.  Getting some hats, noise makers, necklaces, and the poppers :)

Then once the movie is over we send the kiddos to bed, and us too!

Thank goodness for my waffle maker!  I've made a batch and put them in the freezer for quick breakfast on the 1st!

Anyway I hope I have given you some hope and maybe some ideas for next year.

Happy New Years!  May this coming year be better than the last. May God grant us the wisdom to use the experiences from 2012 to make us better people in 2013.

Bruises fade, Tears slow....

Slowly my bruises are fading.  For anyone who saw me in the hospital or after knows I had my fair share of bruises.  I was showing them off like my battle scars. 

When I arrived at the hospital I had blood taken from my right hand.... this resulted in a bruise. 

I had an "art" line (arterial line - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arterial_catheter ) in my right arm when I first got there.  After 12 hours is clotted and needed to be removed. Boy was that bruise a good one.  All the way down from my wrist to almost my elbow... fun!

My poor left hand.  Everything went in there.  From start to finish I had an art line, 4 IV's and a few blood pokes.  It's been a mess.  Slowly. Slowly my poor arm is getting better.  Now only a few spots with bruises remain but mostly my hand hurts.  It had my last IV in it.

While the bruises on my body are fading, and my tears aren't coming as often I still wonder...

When does the broken heart heal? 

Right now, it feels like never.  Once and a while I'll be laying in bed and feel like my heart physically hurts.  And it does.  It hurts so much that I'm not sure what to do.  Other times I lay there and think of all the things I want this Christmas a whole heart is one of them.  It's not something that will happen over night, and it's not something I'm ready to be completely open about but it's broken.  It will take some time and I just need to be ready for it.

For those who know me, I'm a planner.  A big time planner.  And this is something God is teaching me.  You can't plan your grief.  You can't plan when it will stop, and you can't plan when it will be over, and you can't plan when it will hit you. 

Today we (Mom and I) took back my maternity clothes we had bought just a month ago.  I couldn't go in the store.  I had Mom do it.  When she got out she said it was the hardest thing to do.  When asked why the clothes were being returned she told the lady that we had lost Otis and ended up in tears.  It sounds silly but that was one of the final things to do.  Now it's a matter of finding homes for the little boy clothes we have, the diapers, the maternity clothes I did wear but that can be in a while, it doesn't have to be now. 

So for now, my bruises have faded and my tears have slowed, but my broken heart is going to take some time.

Whats next?

I've had some people ask me what's next?  Will you try again?  You can always have another child.

To be honest, I'm scared.  It's not very often you hear me say that but I'm scared.  Little things scare me right now.  One is even thinking of having another baby. 

For now I'm changing my focus.  My boys need me to be their mommy.  My husband needs me.  My family needs me.  And I need to figure out who I am, and what I'm doing here.

It's not alot, but who knew it would be this hard to figure out!  So that's where we are.  What's next for us?  Well... Christmas.  But we are taking it one day at a time.  Nothing crazy, nothing life changing, just one day at a time.

Life

Life is hard sometimes.  It's wonderful sometimes.  And still others... I go crazy!

For now an "information" post is best.  November was a hard month. 

I had an ultrasound on Nov 14th and on the 15th I got a call saying the baby was small and had a lack of fluid.  I made an appointment with an OB for  Nov 21st and waited.

We saw her and went over my history.  We did a quick talk about the past ultrasound and tried to find babys heartbeat.  We couldn't.  I was sent for an ultrasound, blood work, and back to the office.  My blood pressure was high, very high.

We were sent to L&D at the hospital.  They couldn't get my 202/120 BP down.  We ended up in ICU doing drugs to get my BP under control.  After spending Wednesday to Monday there I met with the baby specialist about how small our little one was.  He suggested we transfer to Mount Siani(sp) hospital.  We did Monday afternoon.

We were admitted and drugged some more!  My BP dropped lower than I've ever seen and I was sick.  We ended up waiting overnight to get into the ultrasound to see the baby.  God granted us with not having to make the choice about our baby.  My severe pre-ecclampia was so bad that we knew the only way to get better was to deliver our baby early.  But at the ultrasound we found out our little one had already passed away a few days before.

I was induced and delivered our sweet baby Otis Gus Gilbert Visser on Wednesday, Nov 28th around 4am. 

We spent the next few days in the hospital working on my Blood pressure.  I was released on Friday and I'm home now.

I'm still on meds for my bp and I'm working to keep it under control.  I take one med at 6am and 6pm and then another med at 10am and 10pm.  It's hard to keep on track but I need to do this.

Now I'm grieving.  My baby boy.  My sweet baby boy is gone and I can't do anything about it.  Some days are good, some days are bad and some are both.  Some nights I can sleep, some nights I can't and some nights I don't know what to do. 

The boys are getting by.  Every once and a while we get questions from my boys about it.  Tonight Quinton prayed for baby and asked God to keep him safe and I started crying.  Every day is different.

So for now, bare with me while I work through this.  I'm having a hard time sometimes.  Others... I'm ready to take on the world, for a few hours.

I'll be back, I promise. 

Big Goals at 30!

Yes, that's right, I am 30!  Can you believe it?  Me either!  I'm too young, have to much to do still and most of all don't "look it"  (did I mention modest?)

Every year that I can remember from about 20 on or so I would make a plan... XX (how old I was) things to do before I turn XX(next birthday).  I remember trying to get most of them done, if not all.  Some years, having a baby was put on and it was never crossed off but hey, it's worth a shot right?  And some years, having a date night once a month, was totally doable!

This year I'm at a loss.  I can't think of 30 things to do in a year.  I just can't even imagine 30 things I would want to do every month or at least complete before I turn 31.

So this year I'm making it simple :)

I want to write on the blog 3 times a month. 
I want to post pictures on the blog 3 times a month.
I want to have 3 meals a week I can make and not worry about.

See.. simple!

I'm finding my life is just getting more and more crazy, things are getting harder to do and I'm just so tired.  I realize alot of that has to come with this little baby that's going to be arriving in 2013, but still. 

So there you have it.. my BIG goals for being 30 :)

Do you blog? I... did.

I was going through my bookmarks today on my computer and I"m surprised at how life changes so much.  When I first started to use the bookmarks everything was about, finding a house in Toronto, libraries, kid things, what to do with kids in Toronto, the weather, my online "family", and more. 

Now things are coming around again.  I find I'm starting to bookmark things that are about babies, what to do with kids in Toronto and my online families.  But I'm also bookmarking things like sports pages (kyler), online games (quinton), wii games for kids (both boys) and so much more.  Many more things that I ever thought I would.

I also went through my bookmarks of blogs.  I personally LOVE to blog.  I may not get to do it as much as I could but I love blogging.  It kinda gives me a place to put my thoughts down and enjoy the fact that while they are private thoughts, sometimes they help people. 

As I travelled through my bookmarked blogs I noticed alot of people stopped blogging.  For example, a friend of mine from online.  She last blogged in November 2011.  It was a post about her family getting a new front entry way.  At first, I was a little bummed that nothing else had been updated, but then I remembered how much her family has changed.  She is now expecting #3.  They have refinanced their house and had to do some work on it to complete everything.  As well as with working as a nurse and her oldest starting school it's super busy.

Another favourite blog of mine hasn't been posted in for a few years.  This mama of 2 girls and a boy is so busy with her photography business and her own work as well as taking care of those cuties, it's no surprise that the blog hasn't been updated.

One more of my well lurked blogs is a friend of mine who went to Ireland.  She is there on a missions trip.  With being so busy during the summer (like most people are) blogging has slowed down.  I really miss her updates and her joys and struggles and well as prayer requests.

While I miss reading my blogs and seeing them updated all the time I can't make people do it :)  But for now, I promise to try and blog a bit more.  And yes, I'll try and include pictures :)

Wait, what's that? Right... quiet!

Our lives are slowly getting into pace.  And I'm so thankful to God for that.

The first week in September Kyler and Quinton announced our "family secret". 

We are expecting.

And we are worried, scared, and frightened that after telling the boys, and our family, that something bad will happen.  I think it's something you never get past after a miscarriage.  I mean we SAW Baby Casey's "sac and egg".  There was no denying that there was a baby growing in there and every day, every hour, every minute past the miscarriage date we praise God. 

We thank him for our blessing growing inside me.  We are excited, blessed, and so happy for this little one.  Every morning and every night our little bean gets more kisses and hugs than I do!  She/He is so loved by Kyler and Quinton (not to mention mom, dad, Nana, Papa, Grandma, Grandpa, and everyone else!).

We told family and friend at the beginning of the month about this blessing from God.  We even got to show off a little photo of our bean!  My ultrasound tech was AMAZING and let me have a picture of our little one early (9 weeks and 4 days) so I could show the boys where this little one was.  And what does Quinton do with the photo?  Runs back to his teacher and goes "Look what's in my mommy's belly!!  And it's my Birthday Present!"

After that it was a free for all.  I told the girls at youth group, my friends(family) online, Arnold told his work, we told the people who we talk with all the time and everyone is excited.  We are surrounded in prayers for this little bean.  And I know, more than anything, that we are blessed. 

Kyler started school with Mrs. J.  He loves her!  He loves his class, his teacher, his friends, and the fact that things aren't *too* different from Mrs. B from last year (I will post pictures soon).

Quinton is an SK and he isn't learning much this week.  He's informed all of us after school that this first bit of school is for the JK's and not the SK's.  They aren't learning anything (haha).  He loves that he has Mr. Brown again and that his friends are with him in school.  I don't have the heart to tell him that one of his best friends will be leaving for 4 months + in a few weeks.  I'm so worried about him and how he will react.  But so far so good.

Arnold's doing alright at work.  Still getting into the grove after being gone for vacation for a week and a bit he isn't happy all the time.  But that's ok.  September seems to do this to everyone.  This weekend Arnold has headed up north with some friends from Church and is going to a men's conference at MBC.  He is excited to be going and really enjoys the speaker.

Which brings me to me :)  I'm doing ok.  So far no morning sickness, however I do have some times where I'm *sure* I'm throwing up but nope :)  Q and I had the flu last weekends so we are getting over that.  I'm enjoying my days.  I've got energy again (thank goodness) and I'm loving it.  I've volunteered in Q's class about 4 times so far this year.  It's alot of fun.  On the days I don't have Ian or Dr's appointments/ultrasounds, I'm in Mr. B's class.  I've also got an invite to help out the music teacher/librarian as well.  It's nice.  I'm enjoying helping out in the school.  I've labeled all the workbooks, the bell work, anything that goes home, stuffed mailers, got the reading folders ready for the SK's, helped with snacks, the paint centre, backed bags and unpacked bags, as well as getting anything and everything I can to make Mr. Brown's job easier.  Thankfully, it has been nice and easy and chilling out around the school.  It's fun. Really. 

Our typical day looks like this:
6am - up to pee, I swear sometimes it's earlier!
6:30am - Arnold's alarm goes off
6:45am - out of bed and upstairs
7am - News time!  and breakfast
7:30am - on days that Ian comes, he shows up around this time
8:15am - Sophia comes over
8:35am - out the door and off to school
8:50am - everyone in school (volunteering if no Ian, if Ian, come home)
11:10am - head to school to get Q and Sophia
11:30am - home and time to clean up and have lunch
12:45pm - nap time for Ian (depending on pickup times)
1pm - TV/Movie off and kids outside or downstairs to play while Ian naps
2pm - back upstairs/inside and colour/read book time
3pm - off to school to get Kyler
3:30pm - home from school and Sophia picked up
4:30pm - time to make supper!
5:30pm - Ian picked up
6pm - eat! (earlier if we can)
7:30pm - bed time!

Mondays (in October) are Aqua fit
Tuesdays (first of the month) are the C&C/Young Adult dinners
Wednesdays are youth/mens bible study/school council meetings (oh yeah, Arnold got nominated for Treasurer:P)
Thursdays are swimming (in October) or Arnold's running around day
Friday we travel (if going somewhere) or we seem to have some plans that day.  It keeps us very very busy!

Today the boys and I are home alone (as I said before Arnold is up north) so we have done some running around, cleaning, gardening, more cleaning, and had lots of fun...

Can you believe it... it's quiet!  NO WAY!  Yep... it's quiet in my house (hence the blog post).  My boys are napping.  Thank you Lord for little mercies like naps :)

My turn!  Have a great weekend!

You Can't Make Me!

You Can't Make Me go back to reality, not yet at least :) 

I'm writing my blog post from my parents house in Sarnia.  Last Saturday we headed out from Toronto, 4 little kids in tow and drove to Amhurstburg Ontario.  We left the house around 10:30am or so and arrived at our "cottage" around 4:15pm.  What a trip!  We had lunch, and 2 potty/walking breaks.  And when we arrived we loved it!

This place was a castle!  It had 1 master bedroom with a king size bed, a view of the beach and an ensuite bathroom/shower/walkin-closet.  The room next to it was a queen size bed.  Then a bathroom, which could be closed between the sink and the shower/toilet side.  Then another room with a double bed and finally the room Arnold and I had.  A King size bed with a beautiful view of the beach.

The main level had a family room/dinning room.  A large kitchen with a mini eating area there (table with 4 chairs) and then another area for sitting and watching TV (number 2) and a few sitting chairs.  Sliding doors to the deck and then a mudroom/laundry room with a door outside and a bathroom.   And still another bathroom and a den with a pull out couch. 

WOW what a house!

Outside was a deck off the sliding glass doors/mudroom door and then 2 steps down.  You walked to the back yard and another deck with a picnic table and umbrella and 4 chairs to sit on.  Then a few steps down to the beach and you had wonderful sand to play on, a mini layer of seaweed that had washed up on the shore then the wonderfully warm water (which got cooler as the week went on).  It was a beautiful beach, beautiful cottage, just beautiful!

We spent time on the beach, in the house playing games, a trip or 2 into walmart, out on the fishing boat we borrowed, sleeping/napping, and 1 day out at a little play area/animal farm/greenhouse.

All in all a wonderful vacation.  I managed to read 3 books, nap, take some pictures, nap, never cook (THANK YOU BECCA!!), nap, play on the beach, nap, and just enjoy myself!

This will be the last vacation like this!

Now we are at my parents house.  We head out tomorrow morning after breakfast and drive up to Owen Sound to deliver the boat we borrowed.  Arnold and Lisa LOVED the boat, so much.  It was well worth it.

Our plan is to get home to Toronto Sunday night and use Monday to prepare for school.

Our life will be changing this September.  K and Q are back in school, we have a new daycare girl for before and after school care and we have Ian, until December when his mom goes on mat leave.  I'm hoping to work at the school at least 1 day a week and help out in Mr. Browns class.

I hope to update with some pictures soon.  For now... You Can't Make Me go back to reality :)

Money, Money, Money MOOOOONey, MONEY!

Got to love Money, right?  WRONG!

I hate how money runs our lives.  But it's still there and we still have to make it work every month.

My husband works.  Alot.  And makes good money for us.  I'm always so thankful when he gets paid.  Not because I know our bills our paid but because I know he is supporting our family.  I make a point of saying thank you to  him every 2 weeks when we get his pay cheque. 

The government gives us money for the boys.  We have money from Q, for being under 6 years old.  We get $100.00 a month from them for child care costs and then a bit more for having kids under 18. 

I make money as well.  I provide daycare for a few children.  Currently it's one child.  I have a little boy who comes on random days.  His mom is a nurse so I don't have him 5 days a week.  For example, this week I had him 2 days. 

My family has been working on budgets for a while.  This is the year of the budgeting in our extended family.  We need to budget and make it work for our own families.

Well this month I took a hard look at our budget and I took out any income I had.  The little boy I have for daycare, his mom is having another baby in January.  I will lose my income in December, or maybe before.  I am bringing in a new little girl for after and before school care but nothing compared to what I was bringing in before.  But with my income being so random we have taken it out of the budget and will be using it for certain repayment sections.

We may not be able to save as much for things that we wanted to before but we have a very realistic view of where our money is going.  For example, we have to get our Christmas/Birthday budget back up.  After the boys birthdays in April we somehow manage to "forget" to take that money out, or spend it elsewhere.  This year we need to keep it going.  SO now our budget that would have been spread over 11 months is being crammed into 3 months.  Since our budget couldn't possibly make that work normally we will be using some of our budget money and some of my income to make it topped up.  Say hello to the mason jar with Christmas ribbon on it!  That's how we are saving this time around.

Every 2 years we have a big "vacation" in our family.  Last year, Arnold and Kyler went to Alberta for a week.  They got to visit family out there and really have a great time.  It was Kylers graduation gift from going from SK to Grade 1.  And Kyler got to remember being on an airplane.

Next summer (2013) Quinton and Arnold will be going.  You never realize how much tickets cost until you are buying them yourself!  So our budget is $2000.00 for the tickets and spending money.  This means we have to save alot and have it saved up in time to get a good deal on tickets.  Quinton is SO excited to go on an airplane and to see his family.  This time around he wants to go and see some dinosaurs.  They are his new love.

So not only do we have Christmas/Birthday budget to fill and our Trip fund to fill but we have our normal expenses.  We have to stay current on all our bill payments and make sure we have everything under control.

This is easier said than done.  I always used to joke that I would love to get all our money for the year at the beginning and let me spend it as I need but I know it would never be able to do it all like that.

So this year (as my life revolves around school years) we are going to be super careful how our budget goes and where our income is placed.  So for now we are under strict budgets.  Hopefully we can make this work :)  As always, only if God allows us to use the money He has given us in the places He wants.

Little Blessings

This week, along with our whole summer, we have learned to watch for little blessings.  They can be anything from Quinton learning to snap his fingers (yeah!!!) or my grandfather coming home from the hospital (double yeah!!)

Sometimes little blessings are hard to find.  Other times they are so easy.  If I looked hard enough I could find a little blessing every day. 

For example, today's little blessing include:

Ian being able to play on his own
Uncle Jack playing with the boys so I could get some things done
Me BBQ'ing and not burning anything (it's a first)
Arnold being able to stay home a bit longer this morning to help me out
Q learning to snap his fingers, and
K learning to whistle more (much to some of our dismays!)

I know this isn't all of them but it's just a "smattering" of them. 

God grants us with little blessings.  It's just a matter of looking for them every day.  I believe I may challenge myself to do that for a while.  Find those little blessing and be grateful for them.

So, for now God, please keep sending them my way.  And please remind me to look for them!

1 more month!

Can you believe it's only one more month until school starts?  The boys keep asking when is school coming, or if tomorrow is a school day.  Every time we try to explain how much longer we have to go but I think at 7 and 5 they don't quite understand.

We made an effort in July to be working on some school work but as things went on it didn't get done.  We did a week or so at my parents house when they both did work but after that things lagged.

I'm going to try and fix that this month.

We have started our "get ready to go back to school" routine already.  Yes I realize this may seem crazy to some people.  I mean really we have 1 whole month before we do go back to school but I need to know things are ready.

Last night we spent about 1 hour going through the boys clothes, the ones in their drawers, the ones in our "too big box" and anything we could find.  We figured out just what the boys need for school and added it to our list of shopping for the new year.  Thankfully it's not that crazy!!

In the next few days we are going to head out for our back to school shopping and get the boys ready for Grade 2 (oh my gosh!) and SK!

I'm going to be heading to the school soon to get some more gardening done there and eventually get my pass for volunteering in the school.  Hopefully we can get it done soon :)

A day off!

Our summer has been CRAZY!

When school got out we packed up the boys and headed to Sarnia.  The boys and I were going for a full week to chill, hang out, and relax by the poolside.  The first day we got there Nana tripped.  Not a fall down trip more like a side-step trip.  It turns out that she pulled her ACL and her meniscus.  Nana was on "crunches" for the 2 weeks we were there.

No really 2 weeks!  We stayed for an extra week and helped Nana out.  The boys went to daycamp at Temple Baptist Day Camp.  It was so much fun.  Nana and I went through the basement and cleaned out their storage unit.  It was a great reason for a garage sale!  So that's what we did.  We had a garage sale on Friday and Saturday.

Arnold came down this past weekend and picked us up.  We all headed back on Sunday and had a great storm to drive through.  Hail, rain, thunder, lightening, the works!  It was crazy for us.

We got home and had supper (pizza) and headed to bed shortly after.  Ian came on Monday and Tuesday.  It's good to be home.  It was right from one "job" to another.  I don't mind working but today was a day off!

Can you believe it?  A day off?  I even got 2 hours without the boys in the afternoon (they went to the neighbours house for a few hours).  I LOVED it.  My mini vacation!

Now tomorrow we have Ian again and the girls across the road.  And Friday just Ian but it's going to be a long fun week.  Saturday will be great.  We prep up again for more day camps (this time the Zoo) and then back to work around the house.

We have a few "projects" on the go.  The LL is working on the garage and we are planning to get some painting done if the weather allows.  Please pray for under 25C weather.  I could use it to paint next week!

Well that's about it in our house.  We are enjoying the summer and can't wait for zoo camp next week!  I'll try to update more but things are insane sometimes :)  Have a great July!

1 Extra Second

Today I was informed that you get one extra second in your day.  What can you do in 1 second?

-kiss your child
-hug your parents
-reply to a text message
-nod off for a nap
-jump in the pool
and so much more.

So today.. Enjoy your extra second :)

YES I know I'm SO behind on blogging.  The shortform is this:
June was fun!

Friends across the road sold their home and bought a new one (1.5 hours away)
Fathers Day!
Play Days at school
Volunteering at school
Working on gardens
Cleaned house
Went to a baby shower
Grad banquet for youth
Grandma (my grandma) came home from the hospital
Kyler graduated to grade 2!!!
Quinton became a SK :-)
Began our vacation in Sarnia
Mom broke leg

What a fun month!

Happy May!!

I realize I am a day late but Happy May Day! It's such a busy month for us!

Today I had my final blood test and thankfully my levels are back to normal!
Tonight we are taking the boys to the zoo to see the white Tigers, new to the zoo this year!
Tomorrow Arnold and the boys are going to a musical after school. They are going to see "In the woods" that is being put on by the school.

Friday, Arnold is taking the van to work and then picking up his parents at the airport!   We are SUPER excited to have them visit us on their fly-over to Holland.  One of the bonus points of living in Toronto is that they can stop by to see us before they fly over.  We are excited to have them staying with us until Monday.  Our big plans, so far, are going to St. Jacobs (don't worry I'll take pictures) and then maybe on Sunday do the Africian Lion Safari!  Arnold and I haven't been there since we got married 8 years ago and Q and K have never been there!

The weekend after Kyler has a birthday party to go to (still need to stop at Toys'R'Us and pick something up) and while he is at the party I"m going to be at a bridal shower for one of the ladies at our church.
Sunday is MOTHERS DAY!  (please take a moment to remind my husband if you see him)

The weekend after we are heading to Sarnia to help my parents open up their pool.  We are also going to snag Amber and Lisa on the way down so we can have someone else for the kiddos to play with!  That and I"m sure they miss their Nana and Papa too!

The weekend after is the last weekend in May and Arnold and I have some plans, nothing big but plans none-the-less. 

Also this month Arnold and I will have been married for 8 years!  I can't believe it's been that long :)  I have a babysitter for our anniversary and I think we are going to celebrate at The Keg for dinner!  Can't wait!

I'll be back with pictures soon I promise.  For now enjoy the nice weather!

Baby Casey ~ Pictures

When we found out we were expecting Casey I did the "normal" thing.  Freek out and then take pictures of the pregnancy test.  I finally emptied my camera and have those pictures as well as pictures of the flowers we have in honour of Casey.

A family from church brought us a meal and some tulips.  Also as soon as Arnold found out what was going on he called the church and asked if we could get an Easter Lily in Casey's honour.  And we did.  When Arnold went to pick it up he was told to take more since some people didn't get theirs.  We took 2 home with us and they are now in our Baby Casey Garden out front.  I just couldn't pick one or 2 pictures so you have been forwared there are ALOT of photos.

Today I was told that my Beta levels are down to 13.  I'm finally getting back to a "normal" state.  I do plan on blogging at least one more post on Baby Casey and my miscarriage.  I want others out there to know what it was like to go through and that there is hope, even if I"m in tears when someone asks how I am doing.

Thank you for all your love and support.

Here are the flowers:























































And Baby Casey's Garden: We are hoping to get a stone for the garden. I haven't found anything "perfect" but I"m still looking.